Note found in a safe deposit box with $400,000

“So…

You’re asking if I killed myself?

Well, let me put it this way. Did I stick a shot gun in my mouth? Put my big toe on the trigger? No I didn’t do that. Did I make a noose out of some bedsheets and throw em over a railing? Snap my neck and shit my pants? No, I didn’t do that either. I didn’t gargle drano. I didn’t jump off a building. I didn’t fill the tub with water and drop a toaster in. I didn’t do any of that.

But if I saw a building was collapsing on me I didn’t run. If I knew a plane I was boarding had a bomb on it, I boarded. If it turned that I had cancer, and the doctors said that starting treatment guaranteed my survival, I didn’t go near the hospital.

The act of suicide requires a will. The will to die. I don’t have that. I don’t have the will to live either.

Killing yourself requires a desire, a passion, a fight. The passion that makes a man walk hundreds of miles through a desert, without food or water, just to see his family again, is the same passion that makes a man cut the veins in his wrists. Living is such a natural instinct. Shutting it off requires enough to determination to override hundreds of millions of years of hardwiring in the brain. Or the divine plan of god, if that’s your way, you who found this note.

You ask if I killed myself. The answer is no. I didn’t end my own life. But I didn’t stop something else from doing it for me.

There should be, unless a greedy employee has gotten into the box and taken some, $400,000 dollars in here. It might not be worth much when you get it. But if it is, put it to good use like I was supposed to. Find a reason to live. Find a reason to die. Find a reason.”

—

This note was pulled from a safe deposit box. During the process of going through the bank records, we’ve been determining the contents of safe deposit boxes where the rightful owner cannot be found. We’re doing this after, and only after, an investigative firm we hired has exhausted all opportunities to determine who the rightful owner of the box is. This particular box was set up about 23 years ago. It’s owner passed away and the remaining members of his family, (if he had any) could not be identified.